I'm having a bad tech day. I'm pissed off with technology. Yes, the irony isn't lost on me that I'm writing a blog post about it, but I feel I wanna throw in the towel and just live off grid. On my death bed I'm going to want all the time in my life spent on hold with effen customer service support lines, back. From my wireless modem to my internet to my cell phone to the satellite tv to wrong billings for my utilities, to god knows what else. And do you notice you always have the same effen IVR message. They're so busy it's a larger than normal call volume. Oh, ok, I guess I'll go to a company that knows what they're doing then and who's underlying service isn't so effen bad that there's a larger than normal effen call volume of people wanting effen service!! And here's another favorite. Why is the first thing those effen CSR a'holes ask you after you put in your phone number, is, WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER. For cell phones, if I wanted to pull out the battery of my cell phone every day or 2x a day to fix a problem I WOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT THE EFFEN CELL PHONE. If I have to reboot the fucking modem every other day, or as a matter of use, I WOULDN'T GET IT!. What is it with tech and making shit that doesn't work?????? Holy Christ, can you image what Caterpillar or Boeing or any major industrial company would be like if you have to reboot the freakin thing every day. And another thing - if anyone in the CSR blogosphere reads this - if someone is calling in for tech support - they're already pissed off. They're pissed at the company, the same company where some MBA asswhipe in marketing spends a whollop of cash to build the brand that is destroyed through shit product and bad IVR or CSR systems - SO, when I'm calling in, and yes, pissed off, DON'T make things worse by having an overly long, taxing IVR system, or marketing messages for some stupid effen service, where all I really want is my effen modem, cellphone internet or TV service to be back up and effen running!!! Really, ever notice, when all you want is tech support it's never an option? Even worse, when you spend 5 minutes in IVR land and then you get a message the office is closed. Why not effen tell me that at the effen beginning???? Just help people up front. And don't sell me more shit from the same fucking company I'm calling because the first shit I bought doesn't work. And you get these effen Barbie like IVR messages touting something stupid like the new web site like it's the best fucking thing going on with your day. You know what a good fuckin for me is - NOT HAVING TO CALL FOR FUCKING TECH support.! A good day is when I don't have to dial 9 for more fucking options cuz you have you haven't addressed my fucking problem in the first fucking 8 options. Why god, why!! Help me. I'm at a loss with this 1's and 0's universe, I just want simple!

Verizon - Paperless Billing

Ever get an email from any one of your banks, telecoms or utility companies urging you to be green and sign up for paperless billing? Most likely you would have received something via snail mail with a pimped out flyer promoting GREEN, sign up today! Save trees, yadda yadda yadda.

As a person forever buried under paper, I think it's a great idea, and yes, good for the environment if indeed it results in cutting down (pardon the pun) the use of paper and subsequently, trees. It can also be convenient, if done right.

However, two points to note.
Firstly, it results in significant savings to the underlying company. I used to work at a Telco, I know physical bill production and mailing expenses are significant, yet oddly none of these cost saving are passed on to us, the end consumer. Right, I forgot, our feel good message from the company was save trees, not save them millions.

So, being the good, green citizen that I am I signed up for paperless billing at Verizon for my broadband Internet account.

As fate would have it, a year later I ended up moving out of the state, to an area no longer served by Verizon for Internet service. That leads me to my second point. What I discovered, to my dismay, and dare I say shock, is that when you're no longer a Verizon client they delete your records, so you can't even access your previous billing information, at a later date, e.g., for tax purposes. Further, there was no e-download of the bill. I did however get some great advice from the Verizon rep on the other end of the phone, wait for it......"print off your previous years invoices". So much for being green. Call me cynical but it is this not a prime example of corporate BS? Selling the value of green and environmental, when indeed, it is merely a cost savings NOT passed on to us, the consumer, nor green in the end, if you need to access those records. And, to cap it off, you end up paying to have it printed!

Honestly, I don't know where even to start with this one. Memory and storage space are a commodity these days, it's not like a company can argue it's a cost thing to maintain a billing record for a few years? Especially since it's saving them a few dollars every month for every physical bill not mailed. This just seems to cliche'ly bad. And the call rep couldn't even see the irony on the other end, she thought she was offering me a good solution.

So for today, Verizon, you get the "bird".

Email (save trees) Verizon's customer service people and demand that records and accounts be maintained for at least 5 years, even if you are no longer a client.
Click here to go to their contact us page and send them a note!

Thank you.

Morley Brown